Yesterday I had the experience of presenting in a district that is very different from my own.  I am not going to go into the whole long story, but it was one of those times when I stood there thinking to myself…just stop talking….they are not in a place where they can hear this and utilize it…just stop.  I did my best to adapt on the fly and make some impact on the situation.  Then I packed up my laptop and hopped back in my minivan for the two hour drive home.  I love driving by myself sometimes. I listen to podcasts of presentations that I have missed, sometimes I mentally plan out my next big class project, and sometimes I just crank up the radio and sing out loud until my throat hurts.  All of these are healing times for me.  Yesterday, I spent the first leg of my trip going over all the possibilities of our impending building and grade level split.  It is a big stress for me, because our building is so great, and our principal is a visionary, leader, and most of all a friend.  It is one of those situations that will be an emotional upheaval on some level, no matter what happens.  I thought about how I wish this was not happening, and how I could help adjust and adapt after the split, and what if I lose my great teaching partner, or my computer room, or my (gulp) principal? 

Then I walked into my presentation site.

The second leg of my trip was a much different kind of reflection.  I prayed out loud for forgiveness….for being so self-absorbed and worrying about the little things.  Even if I teach in a closet next year, with no computers in my room, with total strangers, and (gulp) for another principal, it will be ok.  I have come so far, and sometimes I forget to look back…..yesterday, I looked back.  I love looking forward, having those pie in the sky conversations about where we will go.  But I need to remember to look back.

Just a quick post because it seems that I have once again somehow gotten into some sort of one sided verbal joust with one of my favorite bloggers.  It all started a couple weeks ago when I saw a twitter that at first read seemed a bit out of character for dwarlick.  I wanted to hear more about this thought, and so I muddled around with twitter for awhile, then realized that he could not see me, because he does not follow me.  So I let it go, and never really got to the bottom of that, no big deal.  So NOW it seems that I have somehow said something that was taken as criticism in his current post, and I really feel bad about that.  I was just thinking out loud, and I only really comment when I feel that what my brain is spitting out is worth exposing to the rest of the world.  I really didn’t meant to be a critic.  So I set out once again to find dwarlick, and apologize for any misconception of my ramblings.  I could email him, but I tend to think of that as “invasive” when I don’t really know the person.  (Except for Dembo on his B-Day) No chance of getting him on twitter-already explained that, hmmm…I could comment on his post, but I really don’t want to look like a dork…so I ask you- when something you comment on is perhaps taken the wrong way, do you see it as comment etiquette to comment again and explain?  Should I comment, or let it go?  If I don’t comment, do I risk blowing my photo opportunity at METC next month?  Is it bad to be critical when we are all trying to figure things out together? OK, these are all obviously rhetorical questions since I just linked the post here, and now it will trackback to his blog….well then, I guess this IS my apology….what would Miss Manners say about apologizing in a trackback?  Well, as I told my friend JW the other day, I have spent half my life with my foot in my mouth, so here we go again!