Yesterday I had the experience of presenting in a district that is very different from my own. I am not going to go into the whole long story, but it was one of those times when I stood there thinking to myself…just stop talking….they are not in a place where they can hear this and utilize it…just stop. I did my best to adapt on the fly and make some impact on the situation. Then I packed up my laptop and hopped back in my minivan for the two hour drive home. I love driving by myself sometimes. I listen to podcasts of presentations that I have missed, sometimes I mentally plan out my next big class project, and sometimes I just crank up the radio and sing out loud until my throat hurts. All of these are healing times for me. Yesterday, I spent the first leg of my trip going over all the possibilities of our impending building and grade level split. It is a big stress for me, because our building is so great, and our principal is a visionary, leader, and most of all a friend. It is one of those situations that will be an emotional upheaval on some level, no matter what happens. I thought about how I wish this was not happening, and how I could help adjust and adapt after the split, and what if I lose my great teaching partner, or my computer room, or my (gulp) principal?
Then I walked into my presentation site.
The second leg of my trip was a much different kind of reflection. I prayed out loud for forgiveness….for being so self-absorbed and worrying about the little things. Even if I teach in a closet next year, with no computers in my room, with total strangers, and (gulp) for another principal, it will be ok. I have come so far, and sometimes I forget to look back…..yesterday, I looked back. I love looking forward, having those pie in the sky conversations about where we will go. But I need to remember to look back.
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