I am evaluating myself on a different level today, and it’s not like I haven’t done this before. Sometimes I laugh at myself because my classroom is such organized chaos- it’s “plandom” as my principal likes to call it. I really am quite anal when it comes to how I like things to go, particular about odd things….. like how clean the top of my desk is before I leave every day, even though my drawers are a mess. Militant about the way my day begins with attendance and the pledge- yet my classroom can take a 180 right in the middle of the day, and I don’t bat an eyelash! So I guess I am flexibly rigid….or something like that…ANYWAY….I try to tell myself that the little things don’t matter, and then something like THIS happens!!
Our school is in the middle of a big shuffle-long story- everyone is in some manner going to be uprooted next year. I was ok with the changes for the most part, though my tech buddy next door is no longer going to be next door. I was ok with having to build a new team within our new hallway. I was ok with shuffling committees, changes in master schedule, extra duties that might need to happen, losing my lunch with friends. I’m flexible, everyone is dealing with change…it’s just the way it has to be.
Then, I get this email from our tech department that is like a slap of reality for me. I knew I might have to move to a new room, but it just hit me….what about my STUFF!! Now, I know it’s not about the STUFF when it comes to tech teaching, but I have spent the last few years creating the perfect classroom. I got my room set up the way I like it, I got new tables last year that I love, I have my teacher workstation in a usable place next to my smartboard. I have trained my students to treat all my stuff with extreme care and love…no stray marks on mouse pads or stickers on the pc’s here! I finally feel like I have this great environment for learning and it took me all this time to get it just right…and now I am moving??!! ARGHH!! I am as flexible as the next person… I think, and it’s not about packing, or not getting someone elses stuff in another classroom, but …..well….I don’t want someone elses stuff, I want mine! I want my perfect room, my beautiful tables, my pristine mousepads. Don’t make me start over in a room full of crap! I am panicking! Seriously, if it’s about being fair and making everyone pack and move, then I will pack up my whole room, carry it around the building TWICE, and then put it back in my room- how’s that for fair? Why can’t I be flexible about this, when I can allow my whole days lesson plan to come to a complete halt when a better idea rolls out of the mouth of a student? How can I get past this panic attack…..why can’t I just keep my own STUFF?!! How Flexible Am I….Really?
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