Clean Slate

One of the best days of the year happened yesterday for me.  I saw my new class list for the first time.  Every year, it is like getting the biggest package under the christmas tree for me.  I go over and over the list, looking for names of siblings I have had in the past, wondering if I know any of the parents already, deciphering the notes from past teachers.  I look at those names, and start wondering just how I am going to pull all of this together again and create a loving, creative, self engaging group from this new batch of learners.  I always remind myself to wipe the slate clean, for myself and these kids.  Sure, I read what past teachers say, I consider things like scores and behaviors.  But I also remember that kids get to start over when they come to me, and they may be someone totally different in my classroom….or they may not….but they get that chance.  My slate also gets wiped clean, because I need to give these kids a chance to make their path, because they may not be able to follow the one left behind by past students.  It is always amazing to me how different each group is from the last.  How great is that, the feeling of wiping it all clean, and just seeing what happens?  How many people have jobs where they get to do that every year? 

I have been more nervous than usual about this year, for a lot of reasons.  My district is in transition, and we have all moved, been put in new teams.  We begin year 2 of PLC release time, and I feel the gloves coming off in terms of getting past the “lets all agree and be nice” stage.  We opened a huge can of worms last year by throwing out our referral process and starting RtI , and this year we really need to pick up the pieces and make that work.  My partner in crime, eMINTS, and collaboration has gone to another grade level.  I spent alot of time this summer convincing myself that none of this would affect me, but that was easy to say in May.  Can I protect my classroom from the chaos?  Will my principal still understand how important it is for me to teach the way I do, even if it means I am on a different page than the rest of the team?  His answer to the chaos is to implement more structure, but I don’t know how that will fit with my teaching style.  I don’t want to be a problem child…I respect him, and he does not need more stress.  How important is it to be true to my own beliefs about what students need?  Maybe I should just be a good soldier this year, and hope that things calm down next year.

So this is where my post stopped, and sat in draft for a week, until I read this inspiring post from Bud Hunt.  It made me realize some things. 

One-take risks for the sake of learning.  Teaching the way I do is a risk, and it’s not like I haven’t known that for years.  I have been lucky these past two years to have a bubble of support around me, and that is not totally gone…just a bit further away.  It does not mean that I back away from what I know is right for my students, I just have to be ready to live with the consequences.  I can do that!

Two-chill out! Maybe everything will be fine.  I may have to take smaller steps, walk a bit more softly, rattle a few less cages this year.  Perhaps this will be the year when I find a better balance between home and school, and let a few things go for the sake of sanity, personal relationships, and hallway harmony.  I can do that!

Three-I don’t need permission to do what I know is right for my students.  The classroom is the one place where my students and I create our own safe zone, get things done, take care of each other.  I need to protect the special place we create together.  I can do that!

“Model always what you want your students to do.”  I can’t stop doing what I am doing…because I would never want my students to do that.

“We so need you to do well.”  I can do that!

Thanks Bud, for the inspiration!  You helped me clean my slate…now I am ready 🙂

2 thoughts on “Clean Slate

  1. I thought you did a great job capturing that beginning-of-the-year feeling in your first paragraph. One of the good things about most U.S. schools is that there’s a definite starting and ending points and that one can begin again and be given a fresh start. I also like that sense of community you feel on that first day of school when students come in to the building for the first time in a few months.

    I agree with you on Bud’s blog post too. Very inspiring.

    I hope things work out for you and that you get the support you need (and deserve) from your principal.

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