I just finished reading a great book. It’s the kind of book where I nod my head often in agreement, laugh out loud at anecdotes expertly placed in the context of a chapter lesson, and cry uncontrollably at the end….wait…what? Yeah I was surprised too!
So I, of course, have to blog it out.
This book opened old flesh wounds for me. I know I connect with gifted kids because of the way that I see and do things differently. Being different is hard, it’s fun, it’s exciting, it empowers me, but it is hard. Sometimes emotionally hard, when others be-little what I spend time doing in my room, and act as if I am not really teaching. Professionally hard, when I am evaluated on a set of in the box standards for what my students should be doing each minute of the day instead of looking at the outcome of knowledge. Personally hard because I have spent hours, days, years creating and designing and researching….at the expense of my own family, always trying to manage that balance between school and home, knowing the powerful impact it will have on these future citizens, only to be reprimanded for not following the plan. It’s hard to sacrifice time with my own son and feel the daggers being thrown , and still choose to fight for my students.
I have given up many things these past two or three years, and I think some of the tears were about missed opportunities with those students. I still flew the pirate flag occasionally, but most of the time the white flag was out, and I taught in the box I was handed…the same box that every other teacher gets. I did it partly for some personal health reasons, but that really isn’t the whole reason. I did it because I was tired. I will never get those kids back, and that makes me sad.
I also cried I think because I am scared. Scared to face the oncoming marauders..again. I am inspired to get back up and wield my sword once again, but the wounds of past battles remind me that it will not be easy, it will not be popular, it will not be pretty. I will have to build up my mental and physical self, my skin will have to become thick again, and I will have to work hard to keep the balance of work and home because my son needs me to be present and engaged.
My final burst of tears was about what other people think…something Dave talks about. This is a transition year for us. New building, new teams, fairly new principal. Even without flying my flag, this would be a hard year. I will expose myself to people I barely know. I will cause waves in the new pond, and that will force my principal to analyze me and decide whether or not he can afford to let the waves roll, or if he has to get me back in the box for the sake of controlling the masses. I respect him, and I don’t want to cause him extra stress in an already stressful year.
So what will I do? Lay down my sword and leave the fight to a younger, less scarred pirate? I doubt it. I will most likely grab the sword, run into the oncoming year, and raise my pirate flag proudly over my ship. I just wish I felt better about it than I do right now.
What an absolutely amazing post! The sheer honesty and self-reflective nature of what you have written is powerful. I know that there are many out there who can completely identify with the internal and external battles you are fighting…and will continue to fight. You have the #tlap crew behind you the whole way!! After reading this, I would be proud to sail with you anytime!
Great post. I think many of us are on the same ship. You are not alone! I highly suggest you get on Twitter and look up #TLAP (teach like a pirate). Passionate readers of the book gather there. The conversations will provide you with the confidence and connections that will sustain you through the upcoming year.
The book is grounded in one of the most important elements of our job, getting our students engaged in the learning process. Break it down and it is the foundation of good teaching. Any team or principal will be able to see that. You will do great.
Thanks so much for the reply Dave. It makes me feel better knowing that you and all the other Pirates are out there fighting alongside me:)
Thanks Scott, I have lurked at #tlap, and will continue to seek out those conversations! I know that I will survive, just needing a little boost after years of battle. Thanks for taking the time to reply, and I will lookmformyou in #tlap chats.
http://bradjacobson23.blogspot.com/2013/07/i-just-got-chills.html
I read it, I thought about it, I responded. I’d work next door to you any day.
I have been traveling solo for some 22 years now, but always convinced that my students were always the better for it. We’ll all be pirates when school reopens very soon…all 23 of us…..students and your truly…..and happily so too!! I spent the past two weeks working with some new pirate friends.
This “Teach Like a Pirate” thing…this book of unconventionals makes me the kind of normal that’s been escaping me for lo these past few decades. My most recent two principals really embraced my pirate-like tendencies……..because I got results. Talk about CREATIVE LICENSE. I feel fully licensed and “CREATIVELY DANGEROUS” after having read this this “PIRATE” book.
Look out World,
Thanks Dave!
Dave Burgess, that is.
Prince, I felt much the same way about this book, the acknowledgement of thoughts and actions that I have lived for 21 years:). It’s a great booster shot to see it in print, makes me feel like I am not crazy for thinking this is how I should be teaching!
Wow!! What a candid and moving post. There are other pirates out there, you may not find them on your campus, but they are out there. The Twitterverse is brimming with educators who think outside the box as you do. My PLN challenges me daily and I find encouragement in shared ideas and the wonderful discourse that takes place because we are willing to share with one another, and so I agree with the earlier commenter, Scott Carpo. I hope you are already building your PLN because I am certain you will find some kindred spirits out there. I would be proud to have a reflective and honest educator such as yourself in my PLN. I wish you and your students a fabulous 2013-2014 school year. Fly the pirate flag proudly. I believe your students and lucky to have you as their learning partner.
I loved your honesty and I have felt this way, too. I run against the tide of opinion on a regular basis, however, no one ever doubts my motives. EVER! I clearly tell people that it is all about my students. I work lots of hours developing lessons and spending time after school with a couple of clubs that give tons of opportunity for growth and challenge to students that they would never experience in a standard classroom. I have been reading Teach Like A Pirate as well and participating in the Monday evening chat. It is always so encouraging to gather friends around you who can offer you safe passage in a stormy sea. Like Mr J says- I would love to teach next to you!
Awesome post … and can I say: Hear! Hear!
What I liked most about this book is the feeling of “I’m not the only one” that it gave me.
The thing I love about the internet (twitter, blogging, etc) is that it connects me with the other pirates around the world so I know I have the support to keep going in the face of the politics we all face in our schools.
If old pirates like us don’t keep fighting the fight where will the young ones get their inspiration and support from. 22 years of teaching has taught me that those white boxes come and go but what doesn’t change is the importance of the relationship I have with the students and LCLs we share.
Your honesty speaks for more teachers than we all probably want to admit. I hope with your new beginnings at your school that there will newfound energy and a refreshed “charge” among your staff.
My encouragement for you is to stay on Twitter! I have been energized by the enthusiasm I can read through the tweets and chats. It’s really amazing. And if I gave thought to how much I’ve learned through Twitter…. it’s nearly unbelievable. Keep connecting and learning and chatting with passionate educators. The connectedness gives us all a lot of validity that need to carry our flags high.
I hope to see you on #tlap! Dave’s book spurred me on to write two blog posts in reflection and response. So glad we have leaders like him charting a path of possibilities that hopefully will become some reality in many classrooms.
Remember my friend, you do not sail alone. You are not the only pirate in the building. Sail on!
Thanks friend:)
I hope you know that this is one friend (in your building) who will fight for you. I would put my daughter in your classroom in a heart beat and believe you are a one of a kind teacher! You are a teacher the students remember long after the last day of school. My dear friend, don’t be discouraged by others or fearful of the box, instead lead the path for us to figure out how to get out of the box. 🙂
For some teachers teaching in the box is lonely and scary but it is all they know. They need teachers like you to show them how to do things outside of the box.